Amma- One of my first ones

Amma

Amma, do you remember your happiest day

When I was born on an august Tuesday

You held me close because you were afraid

That the world would take your little boy away.....

Amma, I got into college today

The classes were dull and I didn’t really care

But I did my work and held my own

For you said to me,

Son, you’re brilliant but remember it’s a gift

You are as much the Creator’s as my own

So be good, be strong

Be a credit to your mother’s womb

And you’ll find the world a happy place.........

Amma, I got into Virginia Tech today

It’s in Washington, a place far far away

Lots of Indians here, so many in fact

I don’t know whether I am in DC, or old Delhi.........

Amma, I met a girl today

She’s got brown eyes and dark hair

She is so beautiful that it makes me cry

I know she is his child, for I can see

The whole world mirrored in her smile.......

Amma, I got engaged today

Oh I am so happy today

I wish you could be with me

Here on my happiest day......

Amma, it is my wedding day

She is dressed in white

She looks so beautiful, it’s almost as if she were alive

I can still hear the gunshots, but I don’t care

For I have to bury my love today........

Amma, it is raining today

The rain my tears, the howling wind my soul

The whole world is weeping with me

Thirty two dead, many injured the news channel say

I can still hear the wails of many like me

Who have lost their loved ones today........

We are all god’s children you said to me

Then how can he be so unfair

To set her free and leave me here

To face this wonderful world........

So I write this letter to you Amma

Because I know you would understand

And tell the world about your son

And how is world became gray

Because of thoughtless acts, and a loaded gun.......

- dedicated to the victims of V. Tech attack, April 2007

The pursuit of happiness

Humans are of two types;those who live from moment to moment, counting each and every second of their existence and those that live from sensation to sensation, where the stimuli might present itself at uneven intervals, ranging from a few seconds to several years. We spend our entire lives in one of two pursuits,either to enhance the state of inertia that we were born into or to break through the barrier and achieve an opposite polarity. All our dreams, our hopes, our lives revolve around one fundamental principle: our inertia represents the zero or inhuman state and our efforts to deviate towards either extremity represents the process of living.Thus love,sadness, envy, nger are all deviations from the base, inhuman machine state.For example, when people fall in love, why do some feel that time just flies by while for others, time stops still? It is that change in state which the person in question effects in us which gives us a euphoric high and we term this reaction love.Thus it is not we who fall in love. Au contraire, it is they, the change bringers, who make us fall in love with them.The people who live each and every second look for that one person who makes time stand still while the opposite is true for the drifters, the sensualists.A similar case can be made for subjects like career, family, etc.Then what is unhappiness? To put it simply, it is an overdose. Too much inertia and too much change is hard to accept for most people, and that is where life becomes stale, boring or just plain depressing.Then there are the junkies who oscillate from one state to the next, constantly searching for the next fix. These are the truly unhappy ones, the ones who state that they don't know who they are.And it is true.Because the true pursuit of happiness begins with knowing who you are, realist or dreamer. Know thyself, accept thyself and then continue on to the next step; choose thy path.If we manage the first two steps, then the last part comes naturally; choose thy end.I guess life comes down to three things; insight, acceptance and choice.This is the true pursuit of happiness

Winter of 2005

I got my first real three string
Got it from Rajeev’s car
Played it till I jarred every string
Was the winter of 2005

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
V.B. crashed and P.K got stalked
Should have know, we won’t get far

Standing on Alberto’s porch
He told me, my guitar won’t last forever
Oh and I held my heart,
On hearing the price quoted by that old geezer
Back in the winter of 2005

There was no use in complaining
When you got only three strings to work with
Spent my evenings down at InOrbit
And that’s where I met you... yeah

You were my friend’s stalker
But I lost my heart to you
And when we saw your text
P.K. said its now or never
Back in the winter of 2005

Girl, you were stalking P.K.,
I was young and horny, and needed to unwind
I guess some things were just meant to be ...yeah

Now that the times are changing
Look at everything that’s come and gone
Sometimes when I play my old three string
Thinking about it all, wondering what went wrong

Standing on Alberto’s porch
He told me, my guitar won’t last forever
Oh and I held my heart,
On hearing the price quoted by that old geezer
Back in the winter of 2005

Oh when I look back now, the winter seemed to last forever
And if I had a choice, I’d rather never be there
Those were worst days of our life
Back in the winter of 2005

The God That Failed

The flames of the pyre have died down
But the embers stoke the fire within
Charring my faith beyond recognition
Just as my mother’s mortal remains.

As the smoke rose heavenwards
And the ashes piled on the stone grate
It was then, I knew,
How the end would come
You will burn our world,
To fill your own
Ashes and smoke,
Is all that would remain.

Why be honest, when I am lied
Why not sin, when the good ones die
Why be just, while sinners prevail
Why should I pray, to the god that failed.

I believed your scriptures, your false words
I gave life, so she could live
Now we are both dead, thanks to you
So all hail, the god that failed.

As I look at you, sitting proud
On your throne, wearing your crown
Kneeling before you, the gullible flock
Committing the sin of self deceit
Looking for hope, from the god that failed

You ignore them, and look at me
As if to say, you have sinned
Now you must repent, if you wish
To reunite with the one I took away

I met his gaze, he looked away
This is what I had to say
What you ask I cannot pay
Even if I could do what you request
I would rather burn
In this life, and the next
Than wash the feet, of the god failed


The flames have died
A sole duty remains
To sift through the ashes, for me to separate
My parents,
Whom I cremated today
One is my mother
So brave and good
The other, my father
The god that failed.

Soulful Eyes

What is she thinking, is what I want to know,
Her soulful eyes, filled with sorrow,
The eyes that stole my heart and wrenched my soul,
What are they hiding, is what I want to know.

Does she hate me, or simply doesn’t care,
Or does she love me, but will never dare,
To tell me how she feels, what her heart desires,
Is there hope, or is my heart a liar.

Maybe I’m a fool, for I can’t think straight,
I’m looking for love, where there might be hate,
Maybe she feels that everything I say is a lie,
She would see the truth in my eyes, if she would just try.

I am haunted by those soulful eyes
I want to understand, but they wouldn’t let me inside
Your eyes mirror your heart, its often said
An ocean of uncertainty, is what I met instead.

I will stop caring, if they want me too
I will stop loving, if they want me too
Only one thing in return, I ask to know
What are they hiding, is what I want to know.

Living Is Hazardous To Health

My life had come to a dead end
A cigarette remained my only friend
Holding me as my feet gave away
The brilliant light kept the darkness at bay

I took a puff and then some more
Once you’ve had some, you got to have more
Let the good air out and the bad air in
Watch the philosopher in you speak up from within

I looked at the box, it said be warned
Smoking is hazardous to your health
It seems fun now to take a little trip
You know, that’s death that you have in your grip

I looked at the bitch and its pup
How could anyone be so wrong
That little thing is dangerous, it’s a killer?
Its like calling a baby, Jack The Ripper

You call it death, I call it life
Depends on which way you see the light
You don’t believe me, just give me a chance
It’s a fairytale and not some fucked up romance

The way you live and the way you fag
Are like two streetlights on a common path
They both burn, so warm and bright
To illuminate someone else’s night

You can live too fast or live too slow
Surrendering yourself to the flow
Looking to sink or fighting to float
In the end, you are a burned out whore

Smoke to fast and life’s a rush
You burn bright and fast and fade faster still
Like those young starlets in Beverly Hills
You get stubbed out, when life’s had its fill

Smoke like a square and think you’re a king
Jackass, you wasted your life, and a good cig
So you lived long, away from sin and crime
Is that life or a waste of time?
Do it just right and you’ll gain insight
You become Buddha and gain his wealth
Like him you’ll hear the warning bell
Living is hazardous to your health

So choose the life you want to lead
Or the brand you want to keep
Just know one thing, you can’t escape
The ash tray that’ll be your grave

Little Boy Young
-S.G.A.

Laughter coming through the door,
An old woman smiling as she says hello,
The big house, filled with objects of curiosity
A treasure trove for a child, as inquisitive as he

Come on young un, stay here with me,
Tell your old grandma how your day has been,
I’m feeling bored grandma, I want to go out and play,
Can’t we talk later, we’ve got all day

The old woman sighed and bid him good bye
How fast they grow and forget us even more
Soon he’ll be gone and I’ll be alone
But we’ve got all day, so I wouldn’t worry so

Evening came, and the child returned
He looked tired, but shouted excitedly to the house
Grandma, grandma have I got a story for you
I will be going to play to a very special place

Its far away, but don’t you worry
I will come in an hour, two the most
Then we can talk, to your heart’s content
Let me stay out a little late

He called out for her, Grandma Grandma,
But no answer came,
Then he saw his Grandpa and ran to him
Oh Grandpa, have you seen Grandma anywhere?

Young un, She’d to go away too
A long journey, the train left a while ago
But, she went without saying goodbye
I want to go there too, when does the next train leave?

Ah, there is no train for quite a while,
Not till midnight does one depart,
Then I’ll wait at the station till the train comes
I want to see grandma, and tell her about my day

He ran into the twilight without another word
Ran into the swirling darkness that is our world
He ran and ran till the station came in view
But was stopped by the ticket master at the gate on the rue

The old man said, where to young un
So the boy told his tale
Of his approaching journey and its final aim

The old man smiled a sad smile and said,
The day is still young, young un
There is lots do, and lots to learn
The train you want to catch is still some time away
So run away and wait your turn

The child’s heart grew sad,
There was nothing more to be done
So he bade the old gent goodbye, and began his return

But it was then he heard a sound
A great bellow from the engine’s snout
The furnace burning like the crimson sun
And, lo and behold, his grandma standing against the rung

He ran behind the train, but it was too fast
With every step of his, it pulled two away
Finally he stopped and waved till it ached
Soon the train was gone, and only darkness remained

And so he made his way home, for it was getting dark
The path was treacherous, his knowledge unsound
As he stumbled and fell along the way
Watchful eyes sensed their prey.

- to be continued